Solace
by vexus01
Summary: Distress in the hearthealing takes place. DannyLindsay
1. Failure

Part 1...

She wanted to prove herself worthy.

("I'll do it")

She wanted to be strong.

("I'm Beth")

But all she can remember is the gun and the low shrill of the smoke bomb going off

"WHO ARE YOU!", WHO ARE YOU!"

Lindsay woke screaming in the night. Her sweat-drenched nightgown clinging to her petite frame. Raking her hands through her sweaty hair, she stumbled to the bathroom and threw up.

She thought she could handle it. She thought she could make it. But she can't.

After she rinsed her mouth, she went to the bathtub and filled up the tub with scalding hot water. The hotter the water was, the more it would wash away all the bad memories of the undercover sting.

Burning away the bad images, the wonderful images came into the picture. His strong, muscular arms closing in on her small frame, making sure she was alright. She saw the love in his eyes and she felt the same love.

But she failed.

She didn't deserve his love.

Not now, not ever.

She slowly emerged herself in the water, going deeper and deeper into darkness.

The smoke filled the apartment.

"LINDSAY!""

Can't find her.

"LINDSAY!''''

Her screaming woke him from his nightmare. He couldn't believe that he let her go into that building. He tried to stop her but because he loved her so, he let her go.

He let her go.

He has this gut feeling.

That something was wrong, and he had to get to her now.

to be continued...


	2. Falling Away

part 2...

All he could do is think about her. He couldn't put his finger on it, but something was wrong. He just had to get to her.

He hailed a cab from his apartment and nervously cracked his knuckles anxiously waiting for the damn cab to move 5 inches.

"Stop!" he screamed at the cabbie, "I'm getting out now!"

The cabbie startled, turned to face Danny. "Man, you're 2 blocks from your stop."

Danny tosses a wadful of bills in the front seat of the cab. "Keep the change" as he sprinted out of the cab and out onto the pavement.

He ran at a heart-pumping pace just trying to get to her. He dodged people left and right, but at this point, he didn't care.

He was so close.

PAIN  
SORROW   
HEARTACHE  
FAILURE

Those were the words she felt as she let the water take over her. She knew it was wrong to end it like this, but she didn't care. She failed and there was not turning back.

Pain started to set in as the water entered her mouth, and as it coursed to her lungs. She saw wonderful images as she slowly crossed into unconsciousness.

She was already unconsciousness as the pounding on the apartment door started, but it was already too late.

to be continued...


	3. Not a whimper

The pounding on the apartment door sent out sound waves of dispair.The noise was all but lost to Lindsay.

Danny kept pounding and pounding on the door, hoping and praying that Lindsay would just answer the door. But not a footstep was heard, not even a whimper; nothing.

Taking no chances, Danny retrieved his gun. He was going to have to take drastic measures. He took a step back and kicked open the door. Danny entered the apartment, quickly and quietly, his gun armed and ready. 

After noting that there were no intruders, he put his gun away. "Lindsay!" Lindsay!" he screamed out. He didn't care who he woke up, he had to find out why he felt this way. Moving through her living room, he proceeded to head towards her bedroom. But he stopped when he noticed smoke in the hallway. And it was actually coming from the bathroom.

Walking down the hallway he deducted that it was steam. If she was okay than he would have to deal with the consequences of entering her apartment. And she would never drop the subject; but of course, that was Montana.

He approached the door and slowly opened the bathroom door. The steam clouded his vision and he looked down at the full bathtub and saw a shadow underneath the water.

The closer he got, the more he saw and the brown eyes told all.

to be continued...


	4. Shadow

Just bringing by a quick snippet today . The plot bunnies have been sleeping so I couldn't do a big chapter today.

(vex)

part 4...

Her brown eyes stared back at him and they were lifeless and dilated. Not accepting the fact that Lindsay was gone, he lifted her body to the bathroom floor and performed CPR.

"Come on, baby, please breathe!" Danny said crying between breaths. He had been giving her CPR and he had given up. He picked her up and placed her on her bedroom. Choked up, he went for his cell phone to call for assistance when he heard coughing.

There was a slight movement on the bed and he saw her move. Running over to Lindsay, he turned her head so she could expel the rest of the water on the bed sheet.

Noticing that she was not alone, Lindsay saw a blurred shadow next to her. Reaching out to touch the shadows face, she quickly felt the familiar stubble on the chin.

"Danny?"


	5. Gentle, Gentle

She kept fighting the internal demons that were racing through her body. She was praying for the pain to go away and the angels were pulling her through to this world. Warm hands caressed her hair and they were of the slightest touch. Gentle soft lips kissed her forehead and they were the faintest reminder that she was important to many.

Slowly opening her deep brown eyes, she glanced up at the face of Danny Messer. She reached up to try to caress his face but realized that she had an I.V. in her arm.

"Danny? What happened?'' Lindsay said, her voice hoarse and her throat parched.

He took her free hand and slowly raised her hand up to his lips and placed the sweetest and kindest kiss on her hand. Looking into her eyes, he sighed the smallest of sighs.

"Lindsay," Danny said. emotions evident in his tone. "Sweetheart, I came over to check on you because I was worried about you and I found you unconscious under the water in your bathtub."

"Why would I do that, Danny?"

"You tried to leave this world behind tonight."

Lindsay stared to sob, emotions overtaking her small, frail body. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and was surprised when Danny helped her in that task also. He was still wiping her cheeks when he felt her small warm hand grasp his hand.

He gave her hand a gentle squeeze and adjusted the blanket that was covering her so she can keep warm.

"Danny?"

"Yes" Danny said, giving her the smallest of gentle smiles.

"Why would you want to save me?"


	6. Zoo Talk

Danny couldn't believe how easy the answer came from his lips. He had been fighting the feelings for Lindsay long enough and it was time to lay it out on the table and just tell her.

"Because I have loved you since the first time I met you?"

Lindsay couldn't help but to give him the smallest of tired smiles. It was all the energy she could muster up right now.

"You loved me when I was rooting through tiger dung?"

"I love every part of you; even if you do the smelly parts of the job."

He had his hands on her face when the ambulance halted to a stop. The driver and the other paramedic got out of the doors and headed to the back of the ambulance.

"Well Montana, we're here."

"Danny, will you promise me you won't leave my side? I don't want to be alone now."

He kissed her delicate chine and whispered into her ear: "I'm not going anywhere; the Messer charm will linger with you."

She couldn't help but chuckle. "Messer charm, eh? You are amazing."

The paramedics opened up the door and lower the stretcher to the ground and started to wheel her away from the ambulance.

That's when Danny noticed where they were,

That's when Lindsay saw it too, and that's when she let out a blood-curdling scream.


	7. Protocol

They were at the entrance of the Psychiatric ward of Bellevue Hospital. She was screaming at the top of her lungs and Danny did his best to calm her down.

"Shhh, baby, it's all right," Danny said, stroking her hair and speaking in soft tones to calm her soul.

"Danny, their going to hurt me here because I tried to hurt myself. I don't want to be here." Lindsay said, shaking uncontrollably.

He kissed her head as they were walking towards the entrance. "Hold on baby; let me see if I can talk to the paramedic."

Danny stood in front of the paramedic so that he would have to stop. "Listen man, I know it's protocol but does she have to be admitted? I can take of her; you don't have to do this."

"Det. Messer?" 

Danny and the paramedic looked up to see the direction of the voice. A middle-age man with graying hair at the temples approached them.

"You know she has to be here." The doctor said, taking over for the one of the paramedics at the gurney. 

"Doctor, she means the world to me; can you make an exception?"

"No exception, Det. Messer. Now you'll have to wait in the lobby."

Lindsay, fighting the urge to scream, lost the battle. "Danny! Danny! Danny!"

The doctor, doing what he thinks is best; withdraws a syringe of medicine to calm her down.

Danny, caught wind of what the doctor was doing, grabbed a hold of the gurney.

"Put that shot down, you Son of a Bitch!" Danny screaming at the doctor, his face turning a shade of dark red.

The doctor not fazed by Danny's outburst; shoved the syringe into Lindsay's arm.

"Det. Messer, I have had just about enough. You wait in the lobby and that's as far as you will go for now."

The doctor as a gesture, pointed to the two security guards posted near the main examination room.

Danny felt helpless. He couldn't do a thing. He walked over to the bench near the door and sat down, pondering the fact that she was alone and trying to control his emotions.


	8. Answers Please?

part 8...

Danny sat on the bench and waited for answers. If she okay? What caused her to do this? Did I do something wrong? All these questions crashed in his head. For once in his life he didn't have the answers, and that was killing him.

He stood up and stretched his legs and arms. Tired of waiting for the answers, he went up to the nurse's station. He would do a bad attempt at the Messer charm to get answers out of the petite red-haired nurse at her desk.

Something has to give here.

He looked at the nurse, softness apparent in his eyes. She looked up and gave his a hard stare. Well Damn, he thought, the charm is going out the window here.

He cleared his throat and looked down at the nurse. "Miss, a woman, Lindsay Monroe came in. Do you have any news on her yet? Please tell me that you do, please?" There was desperation is his thick, Staten-Island accent.

"Sir, I have no more information on her condition. It hasn't changed since you asked...15 minutes ago."

He took the look that she gave him as a sign that he would have to wait it out. He was getting to the point of just rushing into the examination room and being with her. But he was in enough trouble as it is.

He sat back down and sighed: it was going to be a long night.

* * *

Stella was at Bellevue checking on a suspect that came in for a quick evaluation. She came into the entrance and stopped by the nurse's station, flashed her badge and asked the nurse to find out the status of her suspect.

As the nurse turned to gather the files, Stella turned a saw a familiar head of spiky hair.

What the Hell was Danny doing there? Stella thought.

She was going to find out.


	9. Shoulder to Lean On

Stella Bonasera was the mother-hen of the crime lab. She was the one that many techs and some of her own team came to when they has some issues to deal with or just wanted to have a friendly chat. So her instincts were peaked when she saw Danny sitting on the bench, looking like he lost someone very dear to him.

"You know, that frown may freeze on your face like that." Stella said, giving him a small smile. She sat down next to Danny and put her hand on his shoulder. 

"Normally, you would have responded with a comeback. What's wrong?" Stella said, very concerned at the moment. 

Danny leaned back and sighed. He didn't want to tell anybody what was going on but he trusted Stella enough to reveal the problem. He trusted the team more than sometimes his own family. Sometimes it works out that way.

"Stell, do you ever act on your gut feeling instincts?"

"Sometimes, but I'm careful about that. Sometimes we as people think that we are doing the correct thing but when emotion gets in the way, our goals become distorted."

Danny leaned forward and ran his hands through his hair. "Stella, I'm telling you this as a friend, okay? Just listen to me please?"

"I'm all ears, Danny."

"After the raid that involved Lindsay, I had been concerned about her. She seemed like it was taking a toll on her more than she was letting on. I went to bed tonight knowing that something was going to happen but I still didn't have a clue what was going to happen. But something told me that I had to get to her apartment fast. So I went out my front door and ran. Ran to her apartment and tried to get her to open the door but she didn't respond. So I had no choice but to kick in her door. Stell, I can't believe what I saw.

"Danny, what did you see?"

"I went into her apartment and I felt like I was invading her personal space. But my instincts drove me to the source of all my fears: her bathroom. I went in and I saw her submerged under the bath water and Stell, she wasn't breathing. I pulled her out of the bathtub and performed CPR and she was revived, and called for EMS. They told me that they had to bring her to the psychiatric unit here. I tried to get them to not take her here but they said that they had to. Now they won't let me see her."

Stella leaned into him and gave him a hug. "Danny, it's going to be alright. We'll figure out what's going on."

Danny sighed and looked at his hands. "Stella, it's not going to be alright. She tried to kill herself."


	10. Helpless

**Disclaimer:**

I wish I could have Danny but I don't' think that will happen. 

**Pairings;** D/L

**Rating** K+

Stella listened as Danny poured out his heart to her. Around the lab she was known as "Sister Bonasera" because of her ability to be a shoulder to cry on when associates needed someone to talk to.

But the more that Danny spoke, the more she realized that he was in love with Lindsay. It was bound to happen. The sexual tension that swirled around them was obvious.

"Stella, I feel so helpless. She's my partner and I have to be there for her."

Stella sighed before speaking again. "Danny, you know that IAB will have to investigate and they will have to do a psych evaluation here at the hospital before she can be released."

"How long do you think that will take?" Danny said, his sadness apparent in his tone.

"It could take from a couple of days to a couple of weeks. Danny, you have to have trust in the system. They know what they are doing here."

"Stell, I have been burned by the system before. They were not there when my brother was beaten, and they certainly weren't there when I was accused of being with the Tanglewood Boys."

"Lindsay is a strong woman. We have to find out what's wrong so we can correct it. Danny, why don't you go home and get some sleep? There's nothing that we can do right now. If I find out anything, I'll let you know."

Danny sighed and headed towards the door. Stella watched as he headed towards the exit. She couldn't imagine what would cause a happy woman to want to end her life.


	11. The Train Ride Home

Danny hated himself for leaving the hospital. But as much as he wanted to stay there, he knew that he couldn't do anything at this time. Stella promised to call if she found out anything about Lindsay's condition.

If it was a good night, Danny walked home. But considering how late it was, he hopped on the train and took a seat in the back. Danny sat down and looked at all the people that got on the train, but his attention was on the man that was sitting on the train platform.

Every time Danny got on this train, this man was always sitting on the train platform. He would sit there and count the change he had, over and over again.

His name was Bill and it was known that he had been in and out of mental institutions for years. Danny has seen Bill have emotional breakdowns and even though it was not the same thing, he didn't want this to happen to Lindsay.

He had to get her out of there. He knew that Bellevue was a respectable hospital but the thought of her being in there was making him upset.

Why couldn't she talk to me about what was going on?


End file.
